My fiancé and I had been dating for 9 ½ years before getting engaged so I was extremely ready to get married. The excitement of a wedding kicked in right away and I spent so much time researching and planning. I knew what centerpieces I wanted, flowers, wedding favors, etc.
Then came time to choose a venue and date. The first venue we visited was the one. It was reasonably priced, had a beautiful ballroom, and allowed for the beach ceremony I’ve always wanted. We chose a date, which was only 7 months away. There was so much to do in such a small amount of time. It began to get too overwhelming too fast.
BEGINNING OF THE END
My mom and I kept getting into arguments about details. There was negativity about it being a beach ceremony and more and more people were begin added to the guest list. People I had never even met. The wedding was already beginning to become about everyone else.
Although my mom was paying for the wedding itself, I had to pay for the extras like photographer, DJ, wedding party gifts, wedding dress, and hair and makeup. After a ton of research I knew I was going to spend anywhere between $5,000-$7,000. That was a heart attack in itself.
I was also having a maid of honor dilemma. I had two best friends. One was my best friend since elementary and the other is my best friend from high school. I couldn’t bring myself to making any of them a bridesmaid because they were so much more than that and I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings either.
My fiancés grandmother got very upset and started yelling at everyone for not including her in the decision making of the wedding and that the date was way too soon for her. All we did up until that point was choose a venue. She proceeded to express that no one cares about her and that she’s never included.
My fiancé and I had also been fighting non-stop about the date. We weren’t currently living together and were looking to purchase a home so I kept asking for his opinion and whether or not he thought the date was too soon. He made comments that implied he wanted more time to save money but then would say “whatever you want is good with me”. We were back and forth until he finally said sternly, “Keep the date. Do not talk to me about one more thing that has to do with the wedding. I do not want to know. Just tell me when to show up and I will be there.”
That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. It was just one thing after the other and I finally decided that it was not worth it. A wedding is supposed to be an exciting and happy time. I felt like the wedding was becoming more for everyone else than it was for my future husband and me. I was already so stressed out and I hadn’t even gotten passed the beginning stages of wedding planning. No wedding is worth losing sleep over.
I felt instant relief when my fiancé and I agreed to just have an intimate wedding. Many people were disappointed but at the end of the day our wedding isn’t about anyone else. The price and stress that comes along with a wedding was not worth it to me and I am so excited to get married on my terms.